Title: Always been yours
Author: Laura Sprys
Date: 5/17/2001
E-Mail: short_and_cute@hotmail.com
Rating: beyond PG  :)
Category: MSR
Summary: Mulder's the only one who can help Scully
through her mother's death.
Spoilers: DON'T PANIC: There aren't any spoilers.
I swear.
Disclaimer: I've borrow our illustrious duo for a bit
... to write something that Carter wouldn't dare ...
Mulder and Scully having a life ...
because his toying is too hard to bare ...

$%&$%&$%&

Always been yours
By: Laura Sprys

"Scully?"

Looking up from the computer screen, "yeah?"

"For you."

She took the phone from Mulder's hand, "who is it?"

Mulder shrugged, carefully avoiding her eyes, which
she immediately took notice of, a chill running down
her spine. With the phone to her ear, "hello?" After
about 20 seconds of listening, she handed the phone
over to Mulder, sitting down in the nearest chair.

He listened to the person talking, remembering
everything they said, yet not allowing any of it to
sink in yet. Hanging up, he knelt in front of Scully,
"I'm sorry."

She stared at him dumbly, her eyes dry, "I need to
go home."

"I'll take you."

Nodding, she headed toward the door and out into the
hall to the elevator. He caught up with her there,
carrying her forgotten bag and coat. They rode to the
main floor in silence and the stares of the people in
the lobby went unnoticed. The ride to Scully's apartment
was equally quiet, with her staring out the window
into space and Mulder almost in a panic as to what he
could do.

He let them in with his key and locked the door securely
behind. Scully was standing in the middle of the living
room, not comprehending the fact she was even home.
Mulder walked over to her and asked softly, "do you
want to lay down for awhile?"

She looked up at him in confusion and recognizing the
expression on her face, he managed to get her to the
linoleum in the kitchen before she threw up. That first
round hit both her and Mulder but in the very brief
interim before her stomach exploded again, he got her to
the kitchen sink, where he held her head and waited for
the storm to pass. Maneuvering Scully into the bathroom,
he sat her on the toilet seat and proceeded to wipe her
face clean. Next he pulled off his own shirt and pants,
dumping them in the bathtub. Getting his partner out
of her clothes proved to be a bit more difficult but
he finally he had her stripped down to her underwear
and bra. Grabbing her nightshirt from the bed, he slid
it over her head, managing to get the bra off her from
under the shirt.

Through the whole process, Scully could only stare in
Mulder's direction although one look in her lost eyes
told him she wasn't seeing him, possibly didn't even
know he was there.

Taking her by the hand, he led her to her bedroom, pulled
the covers back and lay her down. Leaving for a few
minutes, Mulder threw their clothes in Scully's washer,
then haphazardly cleaned up the kitchen. Returning
to the bedroom, he saw that she hadn't moved or
surrendered that lost stare. Her cheek felt like ice
on the back of his hand, causing him to crawl into the
bed behind her, to wrap his arms around her, to offer
up his warmth to her.

He held her close until she had drifted off to sleep.
Quietly sliding out of bed, he went to finish with the
kitchen. Since it was early enough, he called Skinner
to fill him in. "Sir?"

"Yes?"

"Sir, it's Mulder."

"Where have you been?"

"I'm sorry but both Scully and I are going to need
to take some personal time off."

"May I inquire as to why both of you are doing this
... together?"

Attempting to keep the irritation out of his voice,
"Scully's mother was killed this morning in a car
accident out in San Diego. Her brothers are flying
in and the funeral will be in a few days. She's going
to need the time and I'm not about to let her do this
alone."

Skinner, feeling like a total ass for his behavior,
"I'm sorry Mulder. Tell her to take as much time as
she needs and let me know what's going on."

"All right sir. Thanks."

He made his way back into the bedroom after a stop in
the bathroom. Getting back into bed with Scully, he
gathered her up, hoping she would be okay.

$%&$%&$%&

Mulder's sleep was interrupted by what he finally
figured out to be a quiet knocking on the front door.
Extrication his arms from the still sleeping Scully,
he padded down the hall and opened the door with a
yawn, "yeah?"

The taller, red-haired man standing there seemed a
bit taken back but he recovered quickly and stuck out
his hand, "you're Mulder right?"

Rubbing his head with one hand, he shook with the
other, "that's right. Who are you?"

"Sorry. I'm Charles Scully, Dana's brother."

His brain was slow to comprehend but it eventually
did, which caused him to step aside, "I'm rude ...
come on in ... you woke me up so I'm not quite
conscious yet."

Shutting the door after he had put the bag down,
"that was you on the phone yesterday wasn't it?"

"I knew I recognized your voice. I'm sorry about
your mom."

The man's eyes filled for a moment, then he blinked
back the tears, "thanks." Taking off his coat, he
laid it over the back of the couch, "how's Dana
holding up?"

Shrugging, "it's been a rough night. She was tossing
and turning up until about an hour ago. I ..." He
trailed off, realizing he wasn't making the
situation sound very good.

Charlie just smiled at him, "thank you for being here.
I was hoping you'd stay. Looking towards the still
silent bedroom, "I hope this isn't too much for her."

"So do I. She hasn't said a word to me since
yesterday."

"When it hits her, it's gonna hit her hard."

"I'll be here to catch her."

"Now I can see why she thinks highly of you."

"You know, you're the first Scully sibling to think
I'm at least a somewhat decent person ... do you want
some coffee?"

Sitting down on the couch, he kicked his shoes off,
"ignore Bill, he's a pain in the ass most of the
time and Mel liked you, she just thought if she'd
told you, she'd never hear the end of it. And no,
I've had enough coffee to single-handedly raise the
Colombian stock market."

Sitting in the chair across from him, "anything else
you'd like then?"

"What I could really go for is a nap. You got an
extra pillow laying around here?"

"I can do better than that." Getting up, he retrieved
two pillows and Scully's extra quilt from the hall
closet, "I haven't figured out why your sister has
so many pillows but today, they come in handy."

Settling in, "you should have seen her room when
she was younger. Sometimes it was hard to find
the bed underneath the pillows. On school mornings,
it was my job to unearth her and get her going so
she wouldn't make us late."

"Scully? Late? We're talking about the same woman
yes?"

"I'm talking about the girl with the flame shaped
birthmark on her ass."

"With that information, I believe you've made my
decade."

Charlie laughed, "I've got tons of family secrets."

Pulling the drapes closed and heading into the
hallway, "I'll be taking notes."

$%&$%&$%&

Once back in the bedroom, he made his way to Scully's
side. Sitting there on the floor, he studied her
finally peaceful face. He'd never known her to be
so withdrawn and it frightened him more than he
cared to admit to anyone but himself. Laying his
head on the mattress, he continued to memorize the
face he already knew by heart.

$%&$%&$%&$&%

He must have fallen asleep there because the next
thing he knew, Charlie was shaking his shoulder
gently, "Mulder?"

Turning his head, "yeah?"

Whispering, "someone named Skinner is on the phone."

Pulling himself off the floor, "will you stay
with her?"

He nodded and sat down in Mulder's spot.

Once back in the living room, he saw his cell phone
waiting on the back of the couch. The clock told him
he'd been asleep for a couple of hours. Picking it
up, "hello?"

"Sorry to bother you Mulder but I wanted to let you
know that the guy from your last case got picked up
outside Duluth. He'll be here in a few hours and I
need you to fill in a few of the holes so we can
book him."

"We never fill in all the holes sir."

"These are actually some of Scully's holes but you ought
to be able to fill them in."

Sitting down on the couch, "fire away."

$%&$%&$%&

About 15 minutes later, Mulder hung up with Skinner but
as soon as stood up, Scully's phone rang, "hello?"

"Who's this?"

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?"

"Where's my sister?"

Mulder, who really did have tact, opted not to hang up
but instead held his tongue, "she's asleep."

"Why are you there?"

Grinding his teeth slightly, "I'm her friends and I
wasn't going to leave her alone."

"Has Charles shown up yet?"

He decided to attribute Bill's nastiness to the
present situation, "he got here early this morning."

"Tell him to come pick me up at Delta gate 23 at 2:00.
The rental won't be ready until after 6:00."

"Would you like to talk to him? He's just in the
other room."

"No, I'm sure you can get the message to him without
screwing it up."

Before Mulder hung up, not being able to resist, "I'll
just go write it down and staple it to his forehead."
He was rather shocked that that had fallen out of his
mouth ... amused, but still shocked.

""Staple what to my forehead?"

Mulder turned to see Charlie walking into the kitchen.
He turned a bit pink, "a note saying where to pick Bill
up."

"He already told me, twice. One of these decades he's
gonna wake up and realize I'm not an idiot."

"One of these decades, he's gonna realize that I'm
human."

Opening the fridge, Charlie routed around until he
found an actual can of pop. Showing it to Mulder,
"mind if I drink?"

"Be my guest ... she weaned me off soda years ago."
Glancing down the hallway, "everything all right in
there?"

Nodding from across the kitchen table, "yeah. She
hasn't woken up yet."

Turning back to him, "that little conversation reminded
me, Tara's not coming is she?"

Surprised at the mention of his sister-in-law, "no,
the doctor doesn't want her flying. That newest nephew
of ours is ready to pop out any day now."

"That's got to be hard for her. She and your mom got
along great."

"Have you met her?"

Not sure how much her knew, Mulder kept his answer
short, "yeah, we had a case out there awhile back.
She seemed wonderful.""

"I'm still trying to figure out why she picked him
but hey, they say love is blind."

Not being sure he should pry, "so what are the
arrangements, if you don't mind me asking? There
are some people we know who'll want to come."

"From what I know, our relatives are driving in early
tomorrow for visiting and the funeral will be the day
after tomorrow. Then she'll be buried next to Melissa."
A few stray tears escaped his eyes and he hastily
brushed them away, "sorry."

"It's all right Charlie, believe me. I've lost both
my parents. Scully has mopped up more gallons from
me than I can even imagine."

"Day was closest to her. There were a few years when
she had us all worried but in the end she turned out
all right."

"Day?"

Chuckling, "I used to bitch and moan about having to
go wake her up but it was the best part of my day.
Half the time she'd already be awake and she's grab
me, flip me onto the bed and tickle me until we both
were hysterical ... so I called her Day and she called
me Night ... because they go together.

Mulder was about to comment when something told him
to go check on Scully. Turning around, he saw her
standing in the hall, "Mulder?"

Walking toward her, "yeah?"

Staring at him with fire in her eyes, "I need you
to get her back."

His heart already collapsing, "I can't."

"Yes you can. For eight years, I've followed without
asking anything of you. You have to do this for me."

Reaching out for her, "Scully, I can't."

"Liar." She pushed him back and he stumbled, sitting
down on the floor. "All I'm asking is that you bring
her back. Now."

As she wheeled back, she hit the wall and slid to the
floor, "please Mulder, I need her ... God Mulder, please?"

He gathered her up in his arms, rocking her gently as
her tears finally began to fall, "I'm sorry."

"Please Mulder? I can't be alone."

Taking her face between his hands, he stared into her
pleading eyes and knew words wouldn't give her what
she was wishing for. Tilting her face up, he kissed
her repeatedly, whispering, "I love you Scully ...
you'll never be alone, I swear." Holding the last
kiss longer, his tears mixed with hers, " I love you."

Sobbing into his chest, "I want her back. Please tell
me it's a nightmare Mulder, please?"

Holding her forehead to his and stroking her cheeks,
"it's the worst kind of nightmare but I can't wake you
up ... I'm sorry." She wrapped her arms around his
neck, tears streaming down her face and he held her
close, waiting out the storm.

A while later, her body had calmed her sobbing and
she sat, still entwined with Mulder, quieted by both
his touch and his words. Pulling slightly away from
him, she brushed her lips over his, whispering,
"I love you too."

Mulder gave her a small smile but S was startled to
hear her brother's voice coming from him, "you're not
the only one who could use a hug ya know."

Looking over Mulder's shoulders, "Charlie!"

He came over and saw down on the carpet with them,
pulling her into a tight squeeze, "hey Day."

Swiping the last of the tears from her younger brother's
cheeks, "when did you get here?" Before he had a
chance to answer, her face turned pink and she began
to apologize, "I'm sorry I fell apart..."

Giving her a brotherly swat on the arm, "shut up woman
and stop apologizing."

Repeating her question, "how long have you been here?"

"I came knocking about eight this morning. Mulder heard
my pitiful banging and offered me your couch."

"I'm sorry I wasn't awake."

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" Giving her a grin,
"besides, I had some Dana secrets that Mulder needed
to know."

"Oh Lord."

Mulder reached over and wiped away the remaining
tears, "don't worry, I won't tell Frohike all of them."

Shaking her head at both of them, she steered them
away from the topic, "have you talked to Bill yet?"

"Yeah ... he called a little while ago to inform me,
for the third time, that I need to pick him up at
2:00pm." Glancing at his watch, "which brings up the
question of whether I can borrow your car Day, I didn't
rent one."

Mulder answered for her, "her car's still at work but
you're welcome to mine."

S, with a puzzled look at Mulder, asked, "do you want
me to come?"

Standing, Charlie pulled her up next to him, "you'd
better stay here. You still look beat."

"I'm fine."

"You may be older than me sister but I'm bigger.
Don't worry, Bill will have plenty of time to scowl
at you for the next couple of days."

Putting her hand on his arm, "mom doesn't want us
arguing."

Planting a kiss on her cheek, "I know. I'll be back
in a while."

$%&$&%%&$#&%

After Charlie had left, Scully headed silently back
into the bedroom. Mulder followed, sitting down next
to her on the bed, "how you feelin'?"

"I don't remember getting here Mulder."

"You mean from work?"

"Yeah. I don't remember much of anything."

"Your mind was a bit overloaded. I brought you here
and here we are."

"Something else happened. You're being too quick
with your answers."

Hooking his feet on the bed frame, he avoided her
look, "the news didn't hit you until after we got
here. Your stomach rebelled. I cleaned us up, then
put you to bed."

Her eyes filled again, this time with tears of
embarrassment, "I've cornered the market on emotional
displays haven't I?" Bumping shoulders with him, "I'm
sorry."

Taking her hand, he squeezed it, "that's totally
unnecessary."

Sliding off the bed, she moved to stand in front of
him. Placing herself between his legs, she bought her
lips down to his without wavering, without constraint,
sliding her tongue hesitantly into his surprised
mouth. Mulder responded equally, pulling her closer
and opening his mouth further, accepting all she gave.

Breaking the intimate contact a few minutes later,
Scully whispered "I love you' once again before turning
towards the bathroom to indulge herself in a hot shower.

Mulder continued to sit quietly on the bed, reliving
the previous event in his mind until he heard the shower
turn back off. Getting up, he made his way to the
living room, leaving her to get dressed in private.
He knocked on her door a few minutes later, "mind if
I hop in the shower?"

"No."

Eyeing his suit on the back of the couch, "you wouldn't
by any chance have some clothes I could wear do you?"

Scully pulled open the door, "amazingly enough I do."

Mulder followed her, amused, "stealing my clothes?"

"More like washing the dirty ones that you leave in
my trunk."

"Same thing."

Pulling out a box from her closet, she produces an
old pair of jeans, a few shirts, some socks, a couple
of pairs of boxers "always an interesting find," a pair
of sweats, an undershirt, a pair of sunglasses, a Cubs
baseball cap and various trinkets that always fell out
of his pockets.

"This is better than a lost-and-found." Taking what he
wanted, he dumped the rest back in the box, "never know
when I might need them."

"Glad to serve. Please come again."

$%&$%&$%&$

Mulder was out of the shower and in the kitchen helping
Scully with a makeshift dinner when Charlie and Bill
walked through the door. Scully's eyes swam again when
she saw her older brother. Hugging her tightly, he
looked over toward Mulder and nodded his head.

In shocked surprise, he walked over a shook Bill's hand,
"hello again."

Bill, to his credit, remained quite civil throughout
the evening. During dinner, he mentioned that his
rental would be available after 6:00pm and that due
to space, he'd rented a room at a nearby hotel. Scully
didn't argue with him, figuring space would be the best
thing for the four of them to have.

While they were still sitting around the table, Mulder
suggested to her, "we ought to go pick up your car as well."

Charlie jumped in, "why don't the three of us go,
drop off Bill to get the rental, we go get Day's car
and meet back here?"

Scully interrupted them, "I can drive you know.
I have a license to prove it."

"Hey kiddo, you look exhausted. Stay here. We'll
take care of it."

Her voice held that warning tone Mulder knew so
well, "Bill ..."

"This is big brother speaking. Don't think I won't
unleash the tickle monster if I have to."

Mulder figured blood would be shed soon but Scully
just broke into a smile, "has the tickle monster
been reborn?"

"Yes ... and the kids are terrified of him."

Pointing towards the cabinet by the door, "my extra
set should be in there."

Mulder whispered as he went to find his shoes,
"tickle monster?"

Nodding at him, "dad used to attack up when we said
a certain word. He'd tickle us 'til we were curled
up on the ground, laughing ourselves to tears."

"What was the word?"

Clapping her hand over her mouth, she mumbled,
"can't say it."

"Evil."

"I don't want to be ambushed."

Shoving his feet in his shoes, "pure evil."

Charlie grinned at his sister and even Bill cracked
a smile, "better watch it Mulder. That woman has
very strong fingers."

"Don't tell him Charlie."

Bowing in her direction, "never, Day-light, never."

$%&$&%&$&%

Bill arrived back first with Mulder and Charlie
about half an hour behind. After going over the plans
for the next few days, both Bill and Charlie stood up
once again, "I'm beginning to hate the car."

"Come on Charlie, another twenty minutes and you can
hit the bed and sleep as long as you want." Giving
Scully a long hug, "I love you ... you gonna be okay
tonight?"

Mulder saw the struggle she was having to keep her
emotions in check but her brothers, ready to fall
asleep standing there, didn't notice the waver in
her voice, "I love you too and I'll be fine ...
honest."

Charlie hugged and kissed her, "it's a goodnight
for a Day."

Slipping into the old ritual, she hugged him back,
"it's Day's Night."

"I love my Night."

"And I love my Day."

Shutting the door behind them, she moved to the
window to watch them go. Mulder came up beside her,
"have you always had that routine?"

She nodded, "he was two and when I got home from
school one day, mom told me he had spent all day
trying to say my name. I ran upstairs and when he saw
me, he clapped his hands, trying like mad to say it
right but all he could get out was Day. He started
to cry when he couldn't do it so I told him that
would be his special nickname for me. Then I said
that's his nickname would be Night. From then on, he'd
answer to Night but only if I was the one saying it."

Laying his hand gently on her back, "who came up with
the exchange?"

"He did, when he was four. We've been doing it ever since."

"It's perfect."

"Mom always smiled." Her held back tears finally
escaped and Mulder turned her into his chest, where
she gladly laid her head, "I miss her so much Mulder,
I think my soul's collapsing."

"You're always going to miss her but you've got a
strong soul ... I think it'll hold up."

With her face still buried in his shirt, "will you
stay?"

Giving her another hug, "why don't you go get ready
for bed while I lock up?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

$%&$%&$&%

Mulder walked into the bedroom to find Scully in her
pajamas, curled up on the window seat. Telling her
not to turn around, he changed into the sweatpants to
sleep in. Turning off the light, he ambled up next to
her, "would you like to know where your mom's star is?"

Turning her head in his direction, " my mom's star?
What do you mean?"

"Well ... that one guy said that people who have died
become starlight. Since that's the best idea I've
heard in a long time, I figure your mom is up there,
aiming her light here so we know that she's okay."

Scully stared at him for a minute, and then slid
forward in invitation for him to sit behind. After
Mulder situated himself, she leaned back against him,
"which one is her's?"

In his story, he mentioned for the first time what had
happened during the period Scully had been gone. He
told her how wonderful Mrs. S had been, "I don't know
what I would have done without her. She felt more like
a mom to me than my own mother did."

Scully interjected a story or two of her own until
both fell into a contented silence. Mulder could have
stayed like that all night but Scully sat up a bit
later, "I've lost complete feeling in my right leg."

Laughing, he removed his hands from their resting
place on her stomach. She shook her foot until it
was normal again, then headed over to the bed,
"which side?"

"Left."

Scully crawled into the opposite side but didn't
lie down. He did the same and across the moonlit
darkness, Scully asked softly, "I know we can't wish
her back but if you could have any other wish, what
would it be?"

Pondering for about five seconds, "I would like to
be able to kiss you again."

Without a word, she scooted closer to him and pressed
her lips on his. This time is was he who sought out
the interior of her mouth. Slipping his tongue in, he
explored every inch with confident hesitation. The kiss
became deeper when Scully began her own memorization
of his mouth.

Never knowing known a simple kiss could have this much
power over him, he eagerly continued, moving his hands
to her face and the back of her neck, pulling her
closer.

Both realized a short time later that if they continued
this much longer, they wouldn't be able to stop
themselves. It was Mulder who broke the contact this
time. Leaning his forehead against hers, he continued
to play with an escaped curl of her hair, "I don't want
to stop."

Scully kissed the end of his nose, "I don't either ...
which is all the more reason to lay down and go to sleep."

"Do you think your mom is scolding us wherever she is?"

Giving him a final kiss, "I think she's happy. She
loves you Mulder, almost as much as I do."

"I love her too Scully. And you."

"Good night Mulder."

"Good night."

$%&$&%&$

The next day, needless to say, was hideous for all
parties concerned. Spending most of the day in the
funeral parlor and forcing herself to make the rounds
created a numb/cold feeling throughout her body.
Waking up curled in Mulder's arms was the only
thought that kept her sane and the idea of falling
asleep later that night surrounded by his warmth,
got her through the rosary and a late dinner with some
of her family who had arrived that morning.

Finally in the car on the way back to her house, via
Mulder's to get some clothes and other things, she
was able to relax some. She was almost asleep when
they finally pulled up to the house and Mulder gently
shook her awake, "we're home."

Scully made it to the front door with only one eye
open and she waited for a grinning Mulder to use
his own key to get them in. Saying thanks, she made
a beeline for the bedroom, shedding clothes as she
went.

Mulder watched with great interest as she first
stepped out of her shoes, then removed her jacket,
deftly slid herself out of her nylons with the skirt
still on. Those landed in a ball on the floor, right
next to the skirt that came off next. The blouse
followed, leaving Scully clad in just a full slip. She
was tugging at that as well when she turned into the
bedroom.

Letting out a breath he hadn't known he was holding,
he went to the kitchen for a drink, then followed
Scully's path into the bedroom. She was already under
the covers when he got there, her eyelids dropping
fast. He changed in the bathroom and finally slid his
tired body next to hers. Giving her a kiss, "see you
in the morning."

"Only one more day to go."

He stopped mid-eye close, her words triggering
something in his brain. Turning on his side, he put
his hand on her arm, "why didn't you go near the casket?"

Shaking her head into the pillow, "not now Mulder.
Please?"

Not pushing it, "okay. Good night." Remaining in his
present position, he laid his head on the pillow,
close enough to take in the scent of her shampoo
with every breath. He was almost asleep when he
felt her shift slightly next to him, "you alright?"

"Just a bit cold."

"Well, come closer, jeez ... do you need an engraved
invitation from the Pope?"

A small chuckle escaped as she slid back into his
arms, "I don't imagine the Pope sends out invitations
to cuddle."

"I'm glad. I think one would put me out of the mood
instead on into it."

"At any rate, I'm sorry I snapped at you a few
minutes ago."

"You didn't snap. You told me to mind my own business
which I should have done to begin with."

"But you asked a legitimate questions."

"That you didn't have to answer." It took a moment
for his legs to register that there was something
different about Scully's pajamas. He moved his leg
cautiously, "what happened to your pants?"

Scully lay ridged for a moment, "oh God ... I forgot
to put them on. They weren't on the bed so I forgot
about them."

Grinning into her neck, "should I take mine off so
yours don't feel lonely?"

"No ... just promise me you won't tell anyone that
I only put half my pajamas on."

Forcing the 8 billion thoughts out of his head, "do
you want me to find them for you?"

Cuddling back into him, "no, just keep me warm."

"With pleasure Agent Scully, with pleasure." Placing
a small kiss on the base of her neck, "good night."

"'Night"

$%&$%&&%

The next morning, both woke around the same time.
Nestled in the cozy warmth, neither wanted to get out
of bed but Mulder knew they'd have to move eventually,
"come on. Time to wake up."

Tears instantly sprang to her eyes, "no."

Sitting up on his elbow, he looked over her shoulder,
"we have to get up."

Rolling onto her back, she covered her face with
her hands, "I can't do this Mulder."

Gently removing her hands from her face, "we have to.
There's no way around it."

Her next words came out in a rush, "I didn't go up to
the casket yesterday because I don't want to see her
like that. The last time I saw her, she was grinning
and dancing and laughing. If I see her like this, it'll
be in my memory forever." Scrunching her face up, "I'm
not going to make it through today."

Sitting up next to her and coaxing her up beside him,
he looked her square in the eye, "you will make it
through today. You will go and do what you have to do.
You're the strongest person I've ever known and will
ever know. You're going to do this final thing for your
mother because you love her and if you don't show up,
I know for a fact that she'll be intensely pissed off."

"I can't go see her though."

"And if anyone tries to make you, I'll belt them in the
mouth and get your mom to haunt them."

Hugging him tightly, "thank you."

Returning the hug and allowing his lips to linger on her
forehead, "you're welcome."

$%&$%&$%&$%&

Scully managed to make it to the beginning of the
funeral but the minute she saw the coffin being carried
in, the tears began to roll. Mulder reached out, took
her hand and laced his fingers with hers and not letting
go until the end of the service. Afterwards, everybody
filed out to the cars and Mulder had to let her climb
into the first car while he followed behind. Leaning
over, he gave her a kiss on the cheek, "you gonna be
okay?"

Nodding slightly, "I can't do this much longer though."

Kissing her again, "we'll be home soon enough."

"Will you stay the night?"

"Never planned otherwise. See you in a little while."

Getting into the car, Bill just stared at her, "has he
been staying there with you?"

Charlie jumped in, "watch it Bill."

That shut him up quickly but Scully answered anyway,
"yeah, he has. Mom loved him, I love him, Charlie likes
him ... get used to him. I also don't think we ought to
be arguing about it."

"Sorry sis. I just want the best for you."

"He is the best Bill."

"Then I'll keep my mouth shut from now on."

"Thanks."

"Mom really liked him?" Scully raised her famous
eyebrow at him and he feigned terror, "just kidding
... do you know you look just like Mom when you do
that?"

$%&$%&$%&$

The cemetery segment passed quickly and Scully was
finally able to escape. Hugging her brothers and
everyone else who had come , who included a somber
Skinner and the three gunmen, dressed decently for
once. Mulder, who had introduced Charlie to the four,
saw the anguish under the surface of her face and
excused himself.

"Ready to go?" She could only nod, the grief of the
last few days beginning to break her. Settling in
the car, he got in himself, "almost home."

"Almost."

The car ride was silent, Scully buried in her thoughts.
Walking into the apartment, she stopped in the
middle of the living room, staring at the blank
wall. Afraid she was sliding back into shock, he
came around in front of her, "are you up for a nap?"

Blinking, she focused her eyes on Mulder's and gave
a small sigh, "that sounds wonderful."

"Good." Unknotting his tie, he slung it over the
arm of the chair and began undoing his shirt buttons
as he headed toward the bedroom.

Scully was on his heals and quickly changed in the
bathroom. She called through the open bedroom door,
"safe for me to come in?"

"Yup." Turning around, his eyes immediately noticed
she was still without her pajama bottoms, "they're
still lost ey?"

Sliding gratefully under the sheets, "it's a mystery."

After flipping off the light and shutting the
curtains completely, "one that doesn't need to
be solved anytime soon." Finally sidling up beside
her, "mysteries are good things."

"No kiss goodnight?"

Mulder smiled at her, brushing his lips lightly over
hers, "of course kiss goodnight." The semi-darkness
seemed to make Mulder a bit braver, "and maybe more
when you're up to it."

Smiling sleepily up at him, "I love you Mulder."

"I love you too Scully."

$%&$&%$&%&

Her stomach woke her up a little after midnight.
Slipping from the bed, she headed into the kitchen to
make a couple of sandwiches. Returning to the bedroom,
Mulder, who had woken while she was gone, "you okay?"

Sitting cross-legged on the covers, "I got hungry."

"Did you bring me anything?"

Handing him his plate, "ham and cheese ... it's all
we had."

Sitting up next to her, he bit into the sandwich, "good
enough for me."

Mulder managed to finish before her and in waiting,
asked, "how'd you sleep?"

Shrugging, "ehhh ... I've got this knot in my back that's
annoying me so..."

"Well, finish your sandwich and lay down." Cracking
his knuckles, "I'll see what I can do."

Stacking the plates on the table by her bed, she
pulled the covers over her waist and pulled her hair
to the side, "just don't break anything."

"Me? Never." Starting off gently at the neck, he slowly
worked his way down, "lord woman, your entire back is
one big know."

"I can feel."

He shifted his position a few minutes later. Swinging
a leg over her, he settled himself on her butt,
"too heavy?"

"No. Just really weird but if it'll work, continue."
After a couple of minutes, "if I could purr, I would."

He chuckled at this and continued. While his hands
worked, he could feel the well-built muscles in her
back and her smooth, slender neck was more than
her could bear. Leaning over, he kissed the porcelain
skin. Knowing full well he should get off, go to
sleep, pace the room, take a cold shower, get away
from her invitingly tantalizing body. He did the
only thing he wanted to do, kiss her again,
relishing the feeling of her breathe in sharply.
Straitening back up, he smiled to himself.

He was not, however, prepared for what Scully said next.
"Would it be easier with bare skin? The material's
beginning to rub."

Hesitating a moment, he slid his hands under the cloth,
"that'll be fine."

Reaching her hands up to her collar, she pulled the
shirt until she could slip it forward over her head.
Leaving her arms in the sleeves and her front still
within the shirt. Putting her hands on the bed
again, "good?"

Mulder said a small prayer that his voice wouldn't
crack, then, "should work." The first touch of her warm
skin nearly killed him but he remained calm until he
had made her muscles nice and loose. Stopping awhile
later, he lost the battle to temptation yet again, this
time kissing the tips of both her shoulder blades. "you
have the softest skin imaginable."

Swallowing hard, she answered him, "glad you enjoy it."

Lowering his lips again, "do you mind?"

"I wouldn't have given you the temptation if I hadn't
wanted you there."

Pulling his shirt over his head, he leaned over
once again, allowing his tingling to cover hers.
Whispering in her ear, "should we feel guilty about
doing this?"

"Considering the circumstances?"

"Yeah."

"Mom used to say that during a time of death, life
should be celebrated. I've mourned Mulder and I'll
continue to but right now, I want to feel life again."
Turning her head as far as she could, she kissed his
nose, "you are my life ... and I don't feel any
guilt and neither should you. All right?"

Going back to nuzzling her neck, "whatever you say
boss." Following her spine down, trailing an
infinite number of kisses, he stopped, "do you know
you have a tattoo down here?"

Deciding to be totally honest, "I have another one
as well."

"Are you joking?"

"Maybe I'll show it to you one day. If you're nice."

"Has anyone ever told you you're pure torture?"

"No, I can't say that they have."

Brushing his fingers over the multi-colored circle,
"how long had you wanted one?"

"Since I was around six."

"Six!!! Were you some kind of Hell's Angels wannabe?
Tearing around on your tricycle?"

Smiling, "my dad used to ask me the same thing. He'd
drill me about what really went on at kindergarten."

"When I was six, I was plotting on how to get another
cookie from the cupboard while you were out getting
liquored up and tattooed." In response, she raised
her hips, dumping him on the bed beside her. Both
erupted into fits of laughter, causing the bed to
shake, "I didn't even put money in the magic finger."
This caused only more laughing and bed shaking.

When they both had finally settled down, Scully still
continued to grin at Mulder, "I gotta say, you do
have magic fingers."

Twisting a lock of her hair, "thank you."

She pulled her shirt back in place, "now I think
it's your turn for a backrub."

More than willing to oblige, he flipped onto his
stomach and she straddled him, kneading the muscles
expertly underneath her fingers, "how am I doin'?"

"Wonderfully."

She worked for another ten minutes or so, and then
stopped to give her hands a break, "give me a second
and I'll keep going."

With his eyes closed, "I'm in heaven. There's no
need to continue."

Not sure at all that she should be doing this, she
followed her feelings instead of her brain. Slipping
her shirt completely off, she dropped it silently on
the floor. Bending at the waist, she pressed herself
against his back, kissing his neck as he had done
awhile before.

"Scully?"

"Yeah?"

"Is your shirt on?"

Grinning into his skin, "no."

"Am I in heaven?"

"Depends on your definition of heaven."

"Right now I'd define it as your breasts being
flush against me."

"Then you're in heaven."

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"And why would you ask that?"

"Because in about two seconds, my brain is going to
explode from the billions of feeling it's trying to
process."

Lifting herself a bit, "shall I let you go to sleep
then?"

Pushing her arms out from under her slightly, she
collapsed back on top of him, "God, no."

Exploring his neck further, "well, what would you
like me to do?"

"Lay down next to me."

"As you wish." Sliding off him, she laid down on her
back and an odd nervousness washed over her. Asking
Mulder, who still had his eyes closed, "why do I
suddenly feel nervous?"

"I'm not sure about you but I'm terrified."

"Terrified?"

Nodding his head, "that when I open my eyes, you'll
disappear."

She suddenly forgot her own apprehension and rolled
to her side, running a hand through his hair, "open
your eyes Mulder."

"Will you still be there?"

"I don't plan on leaving you for at least a couple
hundred years."

Opening his eyes quickly, he shut them just as fast,
letting a grin play on his lips, "thank you."

"Why did you shut them again?"

"So I could remember you."

A tinge of longing filled her voice, "I'm right here,
flesh and bone ... you have the real Scully 6 inches
from you."

Keeping his eyes open this time, he hungrily took the
sight of her in, "I had to make a memory of you like
this ... blushing and absolutely beautiful." He slid his
way down the bed until his head was level with her chest.
Looking up, he asked final permission, "can I?"

Nodding to him, "you never have to ask again."

The smell of her skin made him dizzy but as soon as his
tongue grazed her hardened nipple, he forgot
everything but her. Taking the end into his mouth,
he tugged just a bit as he sucked.

A tingle of fire ran through her body and settled
restlessly in her stomach. Without knowing, a
small moan emerged from the back of her throat.

Mulder, hearing the sound, gently nudged her onto
her back without loosing his place. Working his
fingers up her side, he gathered a handful of her
warm breast, squeezing it while taking more into
his mouth.

In response, Scully pulled him back to her mouth,
kissing his with ever fading patience.

Probing every corner of her mouth, Mulder broke the
kiss only to stand and free himself of his shorts
and boxers and to pull Scully's off her. Straddling
her once again, his lips went back to hers as her
hands began their own exploration.

Mulder suddenly pulled back from the kiss and
slid his hips forward so he was sitting closer to
her stomach. With a look of surprise on his face,
he managed to say, "I'm sorry" before he came all
over her chest.

Studying his face while it happened, Scully watched
him bite his lip and close his eyes, his entire body
shivering when he had finished. Opening his eyes back
up, he looked in horror from her chest to her face,
"I'm sorry!"

She just smiled, "don't apologize."

"But ... I went way to soon and I didn't want it to
happen like this ... it's all my fault."

Stopping his ramblings with her hand, "stop. For
one thing, it's not your fault and two, it didn't
do anything to my mood. You may have furthered it
along a bit actually, so why don't you clean us up,
then we can play some more."

Still looking guilty, he grabbed a towel from the
bathroom and mopped both him and Scully up. Getting
back into bed, he lay beside her, "I love you."

"I love you too." Turning her body, she settled
on top of his hips, "now I remember something about
continuing to play..."

Grinning up at her, her face framed in unruly red
waves, "you're doing a whole lot more for me just
sitting there." Starting his fingers at the base
of her neck, he trailed down between her breasts,
around her belly button and through the darker
red hair until he was able to reach his goal.

The moment his fingers touch her, she shriveled
unconsciously and brought her lips down to his once
again. Removing his now wet fingers, he wrapped his
arms around her, "can I make you come?"

"Are you joking?"

Taking that as a yes, he flipped her onto her back
and leaned across her with one hand supporting him
while the other slipped between her legs. Taking a
moment to get his bearings, he slowly slid his finger
into her.

Scully, in the meantime, lost any grasp of the
English language she once had and as his finger
slowly began moving inside her, her heart beat
faster. It only took a few moments for her hips
to begin moving, matching the rhythm of Mulder.
By now, any inhibitions she may have had went
completely out the window. Managing to dig the
words up from her brain, she held up two fingers,
"two."

Mulder, enjoying himself completely, slid a second
finger in her and with that, brought Scully to her
crescendo. Muscles spasmed around his fingers, only
loosening again a short time later.

Finally realizing she had a firm grip on the mattress
with one hand and Mulder's thigh with the other,
she let go of both and opened her eyes back up,
which took a minute to remember how to focus,
"thank you."

Kissing her on the knee, "you have no idea how bad
I want to go in right now."

With a small smile, she allowed her legs to drop
to the sides, "probably about as bad as I want you to."

Giving her a surprised look, "but you're done."

Chuckling, "I'm no where near finished Mulder ...
or am I going to have to do this one myself?"

Just the thought of her fingers there sealed the
deal. Situating himself between her legs, he slid
into her with ease. Surrounded by the moist warmth,
he almost came again but forced himself not to.

The feelings shooting through her body were almost
frightening. Moving to some unconscious pattern,
both barreled toward climax. Scully shifting an
inch or two, trying to get him in further while
Mulder put his hands on her hips, lifting her
slightly and pounding in deeper. With a muffled cry,
Scully came only seconds before Mulder.

Both were covered in sweat as Mulder, still staying
inside her, rested his head on her chest. Listening
to the wild thudding of her heart, "I love you."

With a shuddering whisper, "I love you back."

"Would it be okay if I stay here forever?"

"I want you here forever."

Looking up into her twinkling eyes, "I've been
waiting for you for eight years."

"Was it worth it?"

Covering her lips with his, he stopped the kiss
long enough to reply, "beyond imagination." Returning
to his love's mouth, Mulder slowly inched his way out
of her, trying to hold onto the feeling as long as
he could. Eventually though, he did separate himself
from her and reached down, pulling the covers over
both of them.

Scully, nestled snuggly in Mulder's arms, "will you
love me forever?"

"I live to love you Scully ... if that's the only
thing I get to do for the rest of my life, I'd be
the happiest man alive."

"I know it may sound trite and cliché but I've never
felt anything like that before."

"Like what?"

"That alive. It was as if every nerve in me was
on fire."

Nuzzling the back of her neck, "you completed me
Scully. I've never felt this whole before. I was
missing something for years and when you stumbled
into that basement, I discovered that I had been
missing you. I've loved you forever Scully but
tonight, you allowed me to share that love with
you, completely."

"Will you be mine?"

"I've always been yours."

$%&$%&$%&$%&

Scully woke before Mulder the next morning. For
the first time in almost a week, she felt rested
and after a good, long stretch, she gave him a kiss
and slid out of bed. Pulling only her shirt back on,
she shuffled into the kitchen to find some orange
juice and maybe a bagel if Mulder hadn't eaten the
last one.


Taking her glass and a piece of bread (he had
gotten the last bagel after all), she opened the
blinds and curled up on the couch to re-read
'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone' from the
set her mother had given her for Christmas. She
stopped at the note written in the cover:

My dear Dana,

Fox told me you fell in love with the first but
hadn't found time to get to the rest. Enjoy...

Merry Christmas honey,

I love you,
Mom

Tears stung her eyes but she smiled them away as
she whispered at the words, "it's Mulder mom and
I love you too."

$%&$%&$%&

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